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Write Rubbish Repeat - A Writers Checklist Of 40 Utterly Worthless & Frighteningly Dangerous Self Publishing Guidelines

RRP $18.99

Imagine 6 of the best authorities on self-publishing got together...

...And put together a slurry of shit that helped nobody!

A book so appalling, that to act upon even one of the strategies inside, would be to write your self-publishing career's death warrant.

Yes, with this premium guide, you too can join the legions of stupid bastards who fail to sell a single copy of their sorry excuse for a book each and every month!

Here's a small taster of the unfathomable garbage you'll be subjected to on the inside:

  • Rick Smith: How to publish on CreateSpace, and then have sex with your audience... in groups if you wish!
  • Matt Stone: Get noticed and sell your books to the average stupid person via social media.
  • Von Money: How to steal extra money from your customers, from right inside your book!
  • Derek Doepker: How to annoy, offend and completely disgust potential readers.
  • Buck Flogging: Why the term "My dick disappears when I tie my shoes" could make you rich.
  • Jack Offonew: How to get several idiots to write most of your book for you... for FREE!
I sincereley promise that this smorgasbord of 40 strategies will have you living in the poorhouse permanently, as long as you continue to utilize the gems found within!

Here! Just look at what some of the fictional reviewers that I just made up are saying about this... erm..."book."

"After over 7 decades of painstaking research into self-publishing, 41 year old Jack Offonew has finally unleashed his masterwork which was written last week by other people." - The Daily Moron

"So funny I shit my pants!" - Foulmouthed Beast Monthly

"Best book for self-publishers ever, I love re-reading it on my motorbike!" - Guy "Kawasaki" Jones

"On the outside it's just another self-publishing book, if you look deeper however you'll see that the author is slightly touched." - John the blogger

"This was acutely distressing. Those poor, poor co-authors." - Charles Manson

So, what are you waiting for?

To fall for yet another dreadful call to action and waste more money, simply scroll up & wildly click the "Buy Now" button multiple times!

The Wedding Checklist: Secrets To Planning A Stress-free Wedding

RRP $19.95

Learn the secrets to planning a stress-free wedding * Free yourself from wedding stress - and plan your entire wedding - in less than one week * Discover thousands of wedding ideas and inspiration * Enjoy your engagement don't spend the entire time planning Smart brides have one thing in common - a good checklist! Did you know the average wedding can take over 200 hours just to plan? And that doesn't include completing all of the associated tasks, activities, errands and projects. But it doesn't have to take that much time (or energy). I can take the stress out of planning one of the most important days of your life and show you how to make every wedding decision in less than one week. Unlike other wedding planning books, this one is designed for brides (and their grooms) who want to get down to the business of planning their wedding without having to wade through the fluff. You won't waste precious time researching every little detail - it is all written here for you. This book acts as your wedding blueprint by breaking down every task into manageable steps. It provides loads of suggestions that allow you to personalise your big day at every step and plan a completely unique wedding. It also shows you how (and when) to look to professionals for advice and suggestions in their field of expertise. This book will ensure you don't get lost in the stress and drama of wedding planning. Above all, your wedding is a celebration of your love and planning it should be fun!

Residential Landscape Sustainability - A Checklisttool

RRP $258.99

This valuable resource for developers and designers will help to develop design solutions sympathetic to the environment and improve the sustainability of residential landscapes.

The landscapes around housing have a crucial role in creating a more sustainable future with carbon-neutral homes. This book shows how to improve the sustainable profile of new residential developments through landscape planning, design and management - by conserving resources and minimising pollution, and by enhancing ecological diversity. This may be achieved without significant additional capital outlay.

The residential landscape sustainability checklist gives housing developers, landscape architects, architects and planners a tool with which to assess the environmental implication of their schemes throughout the design process - from site planning to detailed design.

The checklist focuses on residential housing developments but many features of the tool - including improving energy efficiency, materials selection, planting design and management - can also be applied to a wide range of different types of development, from school grounds to retail parks.

Also of interest

The Green Guide: BREEAM specification

Fourth Edition

Jane Anderson and David Shiers

1 4051 1961 6

978 14051 1961 0

Sustainable Development Policy Directory

W. Alan Strong and Lesley Hemphill

1 4051 2150 5

978 14051 2150 7

Evaluating Sustainable Development

Peter Brandon and Patrizia Lombardi

0 6320 6486 2

978 06320 6486 1

Cover design by Andy Love


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